• They're Back! Church Bulletin Bloopers:

• Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually
   appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

• Bertha Belch, a missionary fromAfrica, will be speaking tonight
   atCalvaryMethodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way fromAfrica.

• The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

• The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
   The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

• Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the
   recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

• Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things
   not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

• The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a
   conflict.

• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
   who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

• Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

• Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again", giving obvious
   pleasure to the congregation.

• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery
   downstairs.

• Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can
   get.

• Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions.
   She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

• The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will > sing:
   "Break Forth Into Joy."

• Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
   So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
   follow.

• At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come
   early and listen to our choir practice.

• Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new
   members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

• Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
   Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

• Please place your donation in the envelope a long with the deceased person you
   want remembered.

• Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

• The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious
   hostility.

• Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.

• The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen
   in the basement on Friday afternoon.

• This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the
   Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

• Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited
   to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

• The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him
   their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

• Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back
   door.

• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church
   basement Friday at7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

• Weight Watchers will meet at7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use
   large double door at the side entrance.

• The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last
   Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."


● Cleaner Jokes                
● Christian One Liners

Follow me on Twitter Follow me on Facebook     Visit My YouTube Channel     View my Linkedin Profile     People love Instagram    Follow me on pinterest

top

Home
Page		 Chimney
Scriptures		 Prayer Conduct Salvation Sin ~ Spirit Miracles,
Parables,
& Prophecies
Holy Spirit Death TimeLines Bible Notes Ongoing
Journey		 Sermons About
me		 Links